What I’ve Learned From My Grandmother About Aging Well

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She sat with her hands folded quietly in her lap, smiling and laughing at the children, interjecting in conversation with her quick wit and often humorous remarks. I took a long look at this beautiful woman who has lived almost triple my lifetime.

This is my 94 year old grandmother, Anna Mary. I have learned many, many things from her, but these are some of the things I have learned from her about aging well:

She Doesn’t Complain

Now, I am sure that there are moments for her. We all have moments. But I have never heard her complain, really. She is a very thankful woman, full of gratitude for her life and the many gifts that God has given to her. She experiences pain regularly now, but I don’t see it keeping her down.

She Rejoices in the Moment

My grandmother is aware of the brevity of life. She knows she isn’t promised tomorrow (none of us are). She flew from GA to Maryland to be here for my children’s birthday party. She soaked in every moment with every person she came in contact with – especially her great-grandchildren.

She Doesn’t Want a Re-do on Life

She is a content woman. She had “the best husband I could have ever asked for” and she has now “the most wonderful daughter and son-in-law” among all her other blessings. While she definitely has gone through many hardships and life hasn’t always dealt her an “easy hand,” she would never go back and ask for a re-do. She is satisfied with her life – a life well-lived.

She Delights in Her Legacy

My grandmother is not a poor woman, but she definitely doesn’t have millions to her name. What she has is a solid, unwavering faith in Jesus Christ, a loving daughter and son-in-law, friends and neighbors, two grandchildren, and – perhaps her biggest legacy of all – her six great-grandchildren. She loves telling me about little moments that she has with each one of them, ways they make her laugh or impress her with their sharp wit (I mean, who did they get it from, right?) She relishes in every kiss and every card they make her.

She Has Never Lost Her Sass

My grandma is one of the funniest people I’ve ever met. She is the only one who, in a room full of 10 adults who are all thinking the same thing, will actually say what is on her mind without holding back. She doesn’t just say anything, though.

She knows when to hold her tongue but she speaks the truth when no one else feels they can or when she has a strong opinion on a matter and because of her age and her confidence, people shut up and listen. And I love her for it.

She is a Prayerful Woman

Grandma prays for each of us every day. She looks to the Lord daily for strength, help, and wisdom. She truly loves God and seeks Him faithfully.

She is Ready for Heaven

A week ago, when she was here at my house, she said to me, “I keep asking the Lord why He doesn’t take me home yet. I don’t know. I haven’t figured it out. I’m ready to go!” I quipped back, “Well, Grandma, I know I’m glad that you’re here with us right now – to be with your great-grandchildren and make memories with them.”

She is not afraid of death and eternity. She knows to whom she belongs and where she is going when she dies. And she’s ready whenever He wants to take her.

Whether you are 16, 37, or 60, we each have been given a gift of life and a choice of how we will invest today – the only day we know we’ve been given. When you are 94, what do you want your legacy to be? What do you want others to see when they look back on your life?

One thing I know is that I’m taking some tips on that from my Grandmother.

 

 

When I Think About Your Birth, I Remember That God Still Speaks

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I’ll never forget the day that you were born. The evening before, I had just completed a long day of work at the Red Cross and was just getting on the metro to ride home at 8pm.

It was on that ride as I sat quietly, my hands resting gently on my pregnant belly, that I whispered a prayer up to God: “Lord, I know you don’t need to tell me this, but will Grace arrive early, late, or on time?” I didn’t really expect an answer at that point. I simply wanted to pass my burden on to the Lord of that big question in every pregnant woman’s heart: “WHEN? When will my baby arrive?

But God did answer. And the answer that I got was not to the question I had asked.

I heard God speak to my heart as clearly as if His voice had been audible in my ears: “She’s six pounds.” “Six pounds?!,” I thought. “But…I didn’t ask how much she weighed…”

I called your Daddy to let him know of this seemingly strange answer from the Lord to my question about your birth. Trudging up the hill to our home, I remained puzzled but felt more peace. “Six pounds,” I kept repeating to myself under my breath, a little mystified.

I opened the door and flung myself on the couch, exhausted. Your Daddy got next to my belly and began to talk excitedly to you: “Now, dear Grace,” he said, “When you come out, I want you to come out like this….” as he proceeded to describe in detail your process down the birth canal.

We laughed a bit and I went back to reading a book about pregnancy. And then it happened. My water broke – a huge gush all over the living room couch. In a moment of semi-panic, I ran to the bathroom, unwilling to accept the inevitable – you were on your way to meet us!

“It’s too soon!” I said to your Daddy, with tears in my eyes. “She’s over a month early! – What if something is wrong?” He took my face in his hands and looked into my eyes – and he said, “What did God say to you today when you were on the metro, Laura?

I trembled in that moment at the awareness and nearness of God’s presence. “He said, “She’s six pounds.”” “And what does ‘six pounds’ mean to you now?,” he said.

I sat, reflecting thoughtfully for a moment. “That she’s a healthy baby. That she’s going to be just fine.” He smiled back at me. “Yes, that’s right. So, let’s relax and let her come!”

Together, you and I, we did the labor dance and I submitted to the process: your arrival, God’s timing – was earlier than I had expected and yet I knew at that moment that you would be fine. I would be fine.

I relaxed and in a matter of 10 hours, you were born. Not at home, as I had planned, but at a hospital I had never seen before that day. But it was all right. You were here.

I held you in my arms for the first time – and for a moment, all in the world seemed right. For one moment, Heaven itself seemed to touch earth when I heard you let out your first cry.

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And when they placed your long, lean body on the scale to weigh you, I didn’t even need to look – I knew the answer. But look, I did – and what I saw brought tears to my eyes:

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Today you are six years old. You are not a baby anymore. But God still knows every ounce of your frame, every hair on your head, every detail of every moment of your life. Every sigh you breathe, every tear that falls, every peal of laughter that sounds forth from your lips. You, my dear daughter, were and are fearfully and wonderfully made. And that point was driven deep with the details of your birth:

For you formed my inward parts;you knitted me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made” – Psalm 139: 13-14

One thing I want you to remember today is that your God – the God who ordained the day of your birth and  hung the stars in the sky and answered Elijah by fire – your God, OUR God – Still Speaks.

Through the pages of His Holy Word, through the still small voice of His Holy Spirit, through those who carry Him in their hearts. Though you may not hear Him with your ears, He sings over you:  “The LORD your God is in your midst, a mighty one who will save; he will rejoice over you with gladness; he will quiet you by his love; he will exult over you with loud singing.” – Zephaniah 3:17.


And though you are young in your faith, I pray that you will remember the boy Samuel, who was awakened from slumber by the voice of the Almighty. That you would be one who listens when God speaks and says, like Samuel, “Speak, Lord, for your servant is listening.”

Living a Life that Says “Welcome!”

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In Ireland, you go to someone’s house, and she asks you if you want a cup of tea. You say no, thank you, you’re really just fine. She asks if you’re sure. You say of course you’re sure, really, you don’t need a thing. Except they pronounce it ting. You don’t need a ting. Well, she says then, I was going to get myself some anyway, so it would be no trouble. Ah, you say, well, if you were going to get yourself some, I wouldn’t mind a spot of tea, at that, so long as it’s no trouble and I can give you a hand in the kitchen. Then you go through the whole thing all over again until you both end up in the kitchen drinking tea and chatting. In America, someone asks you if you want a cup of tea, you say no, and then you don’t get any tea. I liked the Irish way better.” ― C.E. Murphy

Face Time and Front Porches

I grew up in a neighborhood in Northeast Georgia where everyone knew one another. I couldn’t go jogging without stopping to chat to 3-4 neighbors along the way and hear the latest news about their families.

One of the greatest assets of my home growing up was our front porch. My parents sat out front every morning drinking their coffee and reading the newspaper.

Neighbors wandered by and didn’t think twice about stopping over to hang out on the porch with us and have some coffee, too. To this day, my parents still practice this morning ritual and even have a sugar jar ready for their friend who likes sugar in his coffee.

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In the summer, my family spent most of our time on our dock at the lake – which is just another “front porch” for community to gather.

Making Reservations

When I first moved to the Washington D.C. area, one of my first observations was how busy everyone seemed to be. Power suits, power lunches, power naps, power everything, it seemed.

Sadly, it is easy for our lives to get so busy that we have no room for spontaneous hospitality any more. We may see every knock on our front door as an interruption to our well-scheduled lives. But this should not be the case!

Jesus often stopped what he was doing to minister to one person. One person in a crowd of thousands was still important to Him. Still worthy of his unique attention and affection. His second greatest commandment (after loving God) was “love your neighbor as yourself.”

You simply cannot love your neighbor without knowing them and interacting in their lives.

A Life that Says “Welcome”

Today I live in an AMAZING neighborhood once again. The people in Cheverly, Maryland are an “open door-can I bring you a meal?-pull up a chair and stay awhile” kind of people. And they truly make my heart sing. I can’t walk anywhere without running into someone I know or someone I haven’t met who will soon become a friend.

There’s a time to close our doors and have family time. There’s a time for personal solitude. And scheduling definitely has its place (as a mom of three kids I know this well!)

But I often ponder what we as a family can adjust in our lives and schedules so that there is ample time and room for guests to pop in unexpectedly and have a cup of tea? to hang out in our yard and ride our swing? to spontaneously swing by and end up staying for dinner?

You may not have a front porch, but your home still sends a message to everyone who walks by it. Does your life and home speak “I’m open! Come on over!” or do passers-by get the unspoken but clear message “Stay away – we’re busy”?

You don’t lots of Martha Stuart stuff or an immaculate home to be a good host. All you need is an open door, a smile, and a hot cup of tea – just a life that says “you’re welcome here!”

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