“Good sense makes one slow to anger and it is his glory is to overlook an offense.” – Proverbs 19:11

I have been reading a book called The Respect Dare, which is a 40 day devotional/workbook on growing to improve your relationship with God and your husband through understanding the language of respect. I read “Dare 9” yesterday, which was “Project Overlook.”

When we seek to grow into the image of our Heavenly Father, we learn that He is “a God merciful and gracious, slow to anger, and abounding in steadfast love and faithfulness” (Exodus 34:6)

Our God, who knows all things, including the justness of any wrath He may feel, chooses to be calm and to wait in exacting that wrath and punishment. Why? He is abounding in steadfast love and faithfulness. He is merciful and gracious. His mercy causes him not to pretend my sin does not exist, but to deal kindly and gently with me in it, bearing long when I find myself stepping into the same pit again and again, eager to hold my hand and help me out.

His mercy shows me that the last thing God would do to me as His child is say, “Well, you deserve that pit. and I knew you were going to fall into that pit. So just stay there awhile and soak in the shame and embarrassment of it all – it will be good for you.” No, He wants to lift me up and out as soon as possible, to lift up my face towards Him and Heaven once again so that I see Him and all He offers as so much more desirable than that pit.

For me, often, that pit is having to be right. Can anyone relate to this?

I have learned that I like to be right – sometimes I spiritualize it by saying that rightness equals justice (which it does in some circumstances, of course) but when it comes to relating to my husband, kids, and the guy who cut me off in traffic or the woman who came up to me in the store to instruct me in my parenting, I justify my wrath. I am also much nicer and only inwardly fume when strangers wrong me (like the driver or the woman in the store), smiling curtly and moving along my way, but when it comes to those I’m closest to – I often let my thoughts be known when I should simply pause, wait a spell, relax a minute, and see how things sort themselves out.

Another Proverbs I read yesterday backed this up: “A food gives full vent to his spirit, but a wise man quietly holds it back.” – Proverbs 19:11

It is my job to correct, discipline, and instruct my children in the ways of wisdom. It is also my job to make sure that when instruction or correction is needed, it is not done in a harsh way, with a harsh tone, in a condescending fashion which lets them know that “if they just would have listened to me in the first place, they would have never gotten into that mess – again.” God doesn’t deal this way with me!

It is my job to communicate with my husband when I have been hurt or need to talk something through. But before I vent all my frustrations to him, I ought to take a moment to examine the situation. “Is it worth creating conflict?” “Will it blow over on its own?” “Is this an isolated incident where it would serve me well to believe the best that nothing negative or wrong towards me was intended?” The large majority of the time, my major offense actually shows itself to be small and insignificant with the reality of time and a steadfast relationship to wash over the rocks of my offense.

What happens when we overlook a wrong that someone has done to us?

Firstly, and most important, we please God by obeying His Word and following His example.

Secondly, we don’t engage or embroil ourselves in unnecessary conflict but instead choose the way of peace.

Thirdly, we learn to hold our tongues and our feelings (in a good way) before the Lord, watching and observing how things will pan out with a heart full of hope in a positive outcome.

Lastly, when I thought about what it means to “overlook” offenses and wrongs, I thought of a view I have seen almost every year of my entire life on the way to our family cabin in Cashiers, North Carolina. After a long car ride through winding hills and up a mountainside, we stop to stretch our legs and take in the view. And it is glorious (as you can see from the picture above).

So it is with our Christian walks. When we place our feet upon the mountains of our offenses and anger and choose to look up and out at the glorious view of our lives, framed by gratefulness, we stand in awe of God’s majesty and handiwork.

Praying for you today, friend, as you choose to overlook offense and into greatness.