Category Archives: Time Management

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Three Relationships Everyone Needs in Life

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Two men stand beside one another, loudly discussing and debating various points from Talmudic text and commentaries. They passionately analyze, debate, and defend their points of view in order to arrive at a mutual understanding of the text. 

The method of study is called Chavrusa (literally “friendship”), a traditional rabbinic approach to Talmudic study where two students are paired together to discuss and debate texts. While students could certainly learn on their own, according to William Helmreich, the chavrusa relationship is “the best way to ensure preciseness and clarity of thought.”

I love learning about Jewish tradition so it is interesting to me that rabbis have found a variety of relationships are needed in order for students to develop wisdom and gain genuine understanding regarding their faith. 

As Christians, we too need a variety of relationships in order to grow and thrive spiritually. Today I will outline three types of relationships that everyone needs:

1) Mentor/Pastor – everyone needs someone older and wiser than them to provide wisdom, guidance, and skillful teaching in areas where they are not yet experienced or learned. Paul is a great example of this in Scripture. In 1 Corinthians 4:15, he shares “For though you have countless guides in Christ, you do not have many fathers. For I became your father in Christ Jesus through the gospel.” 

A mentor or pastoral relationship is one where we feel nurtured, taught, guided and cared for in a fatherly/motherly way or even as a big brother or big sister. These relationships are crucial to our growth in Christ.

2) Peer/Friend – this is similar to the Chavrusa relationship in Judaism. We all need a friend or two who we can be honest, vulnerable, and transparent with about our own thoughts, struggles, and questions regarding faith.

This person can be likened to a Barnabus in Scripture, whose name means “Son of Encouragement.” This is someone we can pray with regularly and discuss what we are learning in Scripture. This is also someone we know is committed to our spiritual growth and we are committed to theirs. We know we can turn to this person when we face discouragement, confusion, or failure with assurance that we will find encouragement and love from them.

3) Mentee/Disciple – If you have a younger sibling, you probably have been a mentor without even knowing it. Your younger brother or sister may have followed you around and imitated your every word and action. We all need to be willing to come alongside those who are younger in the faith in order to instruct and encourage them. 

Timothy is a great example of this in Scripture as he followed Paul’s example in all things. This is someone who looks up to you and can learn from your own life experiences and wisdom.

While our society today may not organically produce all three of these types of relationships for us, we must seek them out. We tend to live individualistic, segregated lives that may not always send the signal to others that we are looking for these relationships. 

What can you do to pursue all three of these relationships in your life? How have you benefitted from seasons when you did have these? I would love to hear your stories!

Photo Credit: Alden Jewell (Bond Car)

 

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Three Great Reasons to Keep A Spiritual Journal

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I have been keeping a diary since I could write in full sentences. Even though it was a Hello Kitty one with a lock, I was certain it was the perfect place to document all of my deepest thoughts and dreams.

As I got older and began to have regular times of personal prayer and Bible study, journaling became my preferred outlet for writing down prayers, lessons I was learning, Scriptures that had ministered to me, and important events in my life. Over the years, I have accumulated several boxes of journals which I have dutifully lugged from house to house each time I’ve moved.

My husband, on the other hand, is more of an in-frequent journaler, but still makes it a habit to write down all the wonderful things God has done in his life in a yearly summary on his birthday. Whether you love or hate to write, there are some great reasons to take time periodically to reflect upon and document the works of God in your life.

1) We are Prone to Forget – I often have a hard time remembering what happened yesterday, much less last year. And it seems that this is a common human dilemma. Psalm 106 speaks of God’s deliverance of the Israelites from Egypt and their prompt forgetfulness:

“He rebuked the Red Sea, and it became dry, and he led them through the deep as through a desert….But they soon forgot his works; they did not wait for His counsel.” – Psalm 106:9, 13

It’s proven that when we write things down, we are more likely to remember them. We make a choice to remember lest we forget. It’s really that simple.

2) To Increase our Faith in God – In Psalm 77, the psalmist writes with despair about his current circumstances, wondering if “God has forgotten to be gracious?” or if “His steadfast love has forever ceased?”

He turns from despair to hope through remembering, “Then I said, I will appeal to this, to the years of the right hand of the Most High. I will remember the deeds of the Lord; yes, I will remember your wonders of old.” – Psalm 77:10-11

When we write down and remember how God has delivered and helped us in this past, we have faith that He will help us through our current difficulties as well.

3) For Generations to Come – Some day when I am gone (or maybe before, if they find them!) my girls will likely sit down on a rainy day with a pot of coffee and read over my journals. They may laugh or cry or both – and they will remember me. They will even be able to know me as a young girl – my thoughts, struggles, and prayers to God at 13, 16, or 19 years of age.

When we document what God has done in our life and share it with our children as well, we pass on a legacy of faith – a testimonial that remains alive through the decades of the active work of God in our lives.

So, how about investing in a journal, picking up a pen, and let your thoughts flow? Who knows whether 30, 60, or even 100 years from now, your grandchild will pick it up, read it, and say, “What God did for Grandma, He can do for me, too.”

 

 

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How to Live Each Day Like it’s Your Last

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In his book of short reflections, “A Minute of Margin,” Richard Swenson shares the following provocative story about the people working on the 103rd floor of the Word Trade Center on 9/11:

“…At 8:45 AM, people working on the 103rd floor were pouring their morning coffee, straightening their desks, reviewing their Tuesday appointments, bantering with office mates, glancing at the harbor . . .

One minute later, none of that mattered. Twenty floors below, a 757 transected the building leaving the 103rd cut off, trapped, hopeless. But not yet dead.

When you have ten minutes to live, what are your thoughts? What is important in the last seconds? As a tribute to those nameless faces staring down at us from the smoky inferno, can we stop what we are doing long enough to listen to them? Seeing death from this perspective is not morbid: on the contrary, it can help us see life.

Those who found phones called–not their stock brokers to check the latest ticker, not their hair stylists to cancel the afternoon’s appointment, not even their insurance agents to check coverage levels. They called spouses to say “I love you” one last time, children to say “You are precious” one last time, parents to say “Thank you” one last time… And surely those standing on the brink of another world thought of God–of truth and eternity, judgment and redemption, grace and the Gospel.”

Today is my last day with my big girls before Joel and I depart for a vacation to Italy. Last night as I lay my head on the pillow, I thought about today.

I won’t be seeing these precious ones for two weeks, so I want to be intentional about how we spend the next 24 hours. I decided the following:

– we are doing no schoolwork
– we are going to have lots of snuggle time
– I’m going to play whatever silly, crazy games they want
– I’m going to stay off my phone as much as possible
– We are going to explore nature together in perfect weather
– I’m going to pray and read to them and shower them with love!

We’re only going to be apart for two weeks, but I want them to have some great memories to ponder while I’m not with them.

On your last day, what do you want to have said you did with your life? What do you hope your life will have accomplished?

Most people think about their closest relationships – people that matter most to them. And faithfulness – “What did I do with what God entrusted to me?”

When Jesus came to the end of His life on earth, he prayed to His Father, “I have manifested your name to the people whom you gave me out of the world. Yours they were, and you gave them to me…Now they know that everything that you have given me is from you. For I have given them the words that you gave me, and they have received them.” – John 17: 6-8

As Richard Swenson said – it’s not morbid to think about death – it’s wise. Yes, work must be done, floors swept, food made, schedules planned. But we should never allow the busyness of life to keep us from the real business of life – relationships.

If your life has been a flurry of stress and activity lately, what are some steps you can take to make time each day for what (and WHO!) is most important to you?

How can you best redeem this brief life God has given you? Say what you need to say, do what you need to do – not just once but again and again and again.

And when your last day does come, you can say with Paul, “I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith.” – 2 Timothy 4:7

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