Anxiety or Expectancy?

He may delay because it would not be safe to give us at once what we ask: we are not ready for it. To give ere we could truly receive, would be to destroy the very heart and hope of prayer, to cease to be our Father. The delay itself may work to bring us nearer to our help, to increase the desire, perfect the prayer, and ripen the receptive condition.- George Macdonald

Teach us, O Lord, the disciplines of patience, for to wait is often harder than to work. – Peter Marshall

I am currently 37.5 weeks into my third pregnancy with my third daughter. I feel amazing and sometimes feel like slapping my face in the morning or something because I am so happy. As any pregnant woman, I have had some hiccups in the pregnancy, (nausea in the first trimester and a bad bout of eczema in the second) but overall I can honestly say this has been my smoothest and best pregnancy yet! In the last week or so, I have begun to “nest” which means that the house must be clean (there is nothing so satisfying to a pregnant mom than a very clean and organized house!! ok, well, this pregnant mom, anyways.) I have thought about this little girl inside of me, prayed for her, visualized her birth (which will be fulfilling a long time dream of mine to give birth at home), and talked about how this little girl is going to change our family forever with her beauty, grace, and smile.

Whether or not you have gone through pregnancy yourself, you must know that it is a time full of anticipation. I remember when I was pregnant with Grace, I read every book I could get my hands on and diligently avoided any sort of substance that could possibly harm her while she was in utero. Lunch meat, sushi, and medicine of any kind was off limits. Oh, and my beloved favorite morning latte was exchanged for decaf. Joel and I attended Bradley Method Childbirth classes to educate us and make us aware of how I should prepare my mind and body for the time when labor and birth would come. I loved the class so much that I am now a teacher myself. Like every pregnant woman, I heard horror stories of women who labored for days on end and had excruciating experiences. They scared me to death and I often found myself having to work through fears of what my own labor experience would be like. After a few of these stories, I got smart and started blocking my ears to these negative messages of all the bad things that could happen.

As prepared as I had made myself for birth, nothing could truly prepare me for the day when my water broke over 4 weeks early and my birth plan had to be altered from a home birth to a hospital birth in a matter of an hour. I simply wasn’t ready for her to come, but she came anyways! With Chesed (my second daughter), i found myself wishing that she would arrive early like Grace did – simply because I got so anxious and uncomfortable in my last month. I was so ready for her to arrive that I felt like I was going crazy! But, as with every birth, I couldn’t determine when she would come and she blessed me by arriving one week early. This time around, i find myself much less anxious about it all. I am not anxious for her to come today, nor am I afraid if she does. I am simply expectant for her arrival, whenever God has determined that will be. It frees me to enjoy every day as it comes.

You may not have a child or know what it is like to go though a pregnancy or a birth. But you do know what it is like to wait for something you really, really want. Maybe its the “perfect job” or a husband or wife. Maybe it is for a loved one to arrive home safe from service in the military abroad or to come through a major surgery. Not all waiting is marked with such a high level of anticipation. Waiting is something we all must experience every day. Whether it is waiting in line for your coffee or waiting for traffic to move forward, we must all wait. The question is: What kind of a waiter will you be? An expectant one or an anxious one? The definition of “expectant” is simply “one who is looking forward to something.” The definition of anxious, on the other hand is “Experiencing worry, unease, or nervousness, typically about an imminent event or something with an uncertain outcome.” They are entirely different postures of the mind or heart. One is positive and one is negative and we have the choice every day about whether we will embrace one or the other.

The Bible says that God loves and looks for those who are expectant for Him to move. Psalm 14:2 in the Message version reads, “GOD sticks his head out of heaven. He looks around. He’s looking for someone not stupid— one man, even, God-expectant, just one God-ready woman.” He not only is eagerly watching for those who are waiting expectantly for Him to move, He also directly tells us not to worry (0r be anxious) about anything. However, if you are human, you will worry! God prescribes prayer as the remedy for our anxieties in Philippians 4:6-7 “Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done.Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.” 

What are you worried or anxious about today, child of God? your Father knows all of your needs, all of your desires, all of your cares before you even tell Him about them. But He wants you to tell Him anyways! To cast every care into His loving, fatherly arms and to leave them there. And then, with all the heavy weights and worries gone, to embrace an expectation of what God wants to and will do in your current circumstances. To pray with faith towards that which is unseen by man, but already determined by God.

 

 

What Life’s Storms Reveal

Only one week after the Microburst, another bigger storm swept down the entire East Coast that hit our town as well. This time, instead of about 50,000 without power, it was estimated that in our area alone there were 900,000 without power. There were two known deaths from this storm. We wandered down Route 50 in search of power, only to find our neighboring cities of Bowie, Lanham, and beyond in just as bad shape as we were. The few businesses that had power also had lines of people snaking out their doors, waiting for their turn to enter the air conditioned building where they could ‘rest a spell.’

This time around, the “good attitude” was a little harder to muster, I admit, after two days without power, as we were still recovering from the previous week’s disaster and our tree was still our “ever-present reality.” As they say, “When it rains, it pours.” For our area there has been a literal fulfillment of this the last few years with a record-breaking snowfall dubbed “Snowmaggedeon,”an earthquake (which we were not used to), Hurricane Irene, and now these two storms. Grace even made up a song about Pepco, our power company, which shows that even our three year old has internalized our need for power 🙂

Last time, I shared a personal testimony about how the Microburst caused me to pause and consider what is really important in life. What it came down to was firstly, “Where do I stand with Christ?” and “Who are the people in my life?” God and people. Really, this is what matters. Since the second storm, I have pondered what else I can glean from natural disasters as well as other “storms of life.” You know, TRIALS. TESTS. THE LIKE. 🙂

It also made me recall that I have seen some pretty amazing disasters and stood in their wreckage, held their victims while they mourned, and surveyed incalculable loss. The first that came to mind was the Haiti Earthquake a few years back. We had the call to go from a friend there who had lost his wife and his home. He begged for our assistance. How could we refuse?  As we went, we surveyed the damage, a lot of which looked like this:

 

 

Nearly the entire country slept in tents, which was a physical picture of the temporary nature of our earthly dwelling places:

Then there was the Tsunami of 2005, where, during an around the world trip to 20 countries, Joel and I had the privilege of assisting folks in Khao Lak, Thailand, where damage looked like this:

 

In the rubble of disaster, it is easy to become disillusioned and think “Where is God in all of this?” I can tell you from personal experience, that in those storms, in the midst of all the damage and destruction and chaos, God was strikingly and tangibly present. We just had to open our eyes and ears. Sometimes, as in our disaster, the physical clean up and recovery takes awhile but is more of an inconvenience than anything. In other disasters, there is virtually nothing left and nowhere, it seems, to go. Everything everywhere has been destroyed. Those left to sort of their “new” reality in the midst of such devastation are often at a breaking point. Where do you turn when everything around you, everything that you have stood upon and relied on for survival is gone?

God alone is the answer.

Nations are in uproar, kingdoms fall; He lifts his voice, the earth melts.The Lord Almighty is with us; the God of Jacob is our fortress.” – Psalm 46:6-7

He is Emmanuel – God with us. God with us in disaster. God with us in pain. God with us in trial and temptation and failure. God with us when all have deserted us. He never fails. And because of this unalterable faithfulness, there is only one proper response: joyful worship! I have seen some of the purest, truest worship in these places of devastation and disaster. Out of the rubble, worship rises. A new foundation is built on nothing but God alone.

What about you? 

What is shaking in your life? What has been destroyed? What, when the pressure and the storms of life came pressing in, was found unreliable, unsound, unable to stand?

We each have the opportunity when things in our lives begin to shake to listen to what God might be saying to us through the turmoil:

Be careful that you do not refuse to listen to the One who is speaking. For if the people of Israel did not escape when they refused to listen to Moses, the earthly messenger, we will certainly not escape if we reject the One who speaks to us from heaven! When God spoke from Mount Sinai his voice shook the earth, but now he makes another promise: “Once again I will shake not only the earth but the heavens also.” This means that all of creation will be shaken and removed, so that only unshakable things will remain. Since we are receiving a Kingdom that is unshakable, let us be thankful and please God by worshiping him with holy fear and awe. For our God is a devouring fire. ” – Hebrews 12:25-29

Sometimes, the call is to stand and endure the storm. Sometimes, it is to pick up a shovel and clean up the mess. Sometimes, it is to re-evaluate a faulty foundation and begin to build again on what will remain. And oddly enough, when that call comes, there is often a sense of hope, of relief, of a fresh start with a new vision for something greater and more enduring than what held us up before.

 

 

The Permissible Trap

“All things are lawful,” but not all things are helpful. “All things are lawful,” but not all things build up. Let no one seek his own good, but the good of his neighbor. ” – 1 Corinthians 10:23-24

You say, “I am allowed to do anything”—but not everything is good for you. And even though “I am allowed to do anything,” I must not become a slave to anything.” – 1 Corinthians 6:12

 

I’ve been thinking lately about the power of the permissible. What do I mean? How things that are “okay” or even “legal” can become stumbling blocks to us walking in God’s best for our lives and for His Kingdom’s renown.

Twice in his first letter to the Corinthians, Paul talks about this concept of the “lawful” or “permissible” – the word literally means “to be lawful or allowed.”

Growing up in a Christian home, my parents made it clear that there were definitely things that were not allowed or permissible in our home. Foul language, lying, disrespect of elders – these are just a few of the “very clear” NON-permissible activities in our home. There were, however, things that were “allowed.” Watching up to one hour of television per day was allowed. Going to the mall with friends and spending whatever money I had earned at my little summer job on cheap earrings was allowed. Staying up all night on the weekend with my girlfriends at a slumber party was allowed. It doesn’t mean, however, that my choice to do those things would be good for me or result in my spiritual growth or maturation as a young woman.

My parents knew that they had to give me some freedoms the older that I became – freedom to choose what I would do with my money, my time, my focus and attention. For true growth only happens when there is (just that) – room to grow. Probably the most obvious example of a young person’s freedom is when they are given the car keys for the first time. A certain maturity level must be evident for the parents to make the decision. They also must have passed their driving test which evidenced that they are fit for the road. A parent can lecture and lecture a child over and over about what the “car rules” are and how they are to behave while operating the car. But once the young person turns on the engine and pulls out of the driveway, it is in their hands – choices that they make will no doubt affect them and those around them on the road.

As believers, there are some things that are clearly evident as being “NOT ALLOWED” by our Abba Father. If you are wondering if there is a list, start with the Ten Commandments 🙂 You shall have No Other Gods before Me. No Adultery. No Coveting. No taking His Name in Vain. And the list continues.

There are other things that are, well, not so cut and dry – take these examples:

whether I choose to rent and watch certain movies that aren’t obviously sinful

whether I choose to buy shoes or clothes me or my kids don’t really “need”

whether I choose to take a nap in the afternoon instead of doing something more “productive”

whether I choose to give 10% of my income to the Lord or 50% of my income

In meditating on these passages and chewing on how I should apply them to my life, a few things come to mind:

1. We are called to freedom – Galatians 5:1 – this means that we should make choices out of a place of freedom, not fear or slavery to legalistic rules that aren’t even biblical.

2. We aren’t called to use our freedom as “an opportunity for the flesh” – Galatians 5:13 – but through love we ought to serve others with the freedom Christ has given us.

3. While “all things are lawful” not all things build up – 1 Corinthians 10:23-24 – therefore, if I am being presented with an opportunity to do something that is likely NOT to build me or others up in their walk with Christ, it is best to avoid it altogether.

4. While I am “allowed” to do anything, not everything is good for me and I should never become a slave to anything – 1 Corinthians 6:12 – When I have the choice to do something or not do something that may very well cause my ruin (or someone else’s) or has the capacity to lead to my enslavement to that very thing, I ought to say a very clear “NO” to that offer.

5. I should consider how others will be impacted by my decisions (Galatians 5:13, 1 Corinthians 10:23-24) – I may very well have a clear conscience about eating that very large piece of carrot cake. But if I am with a friend who is clearly trying to exhibit self control in order to achieve a healthy life goal, it would be an act of love towards her to not scarf a huge piece of cake in her presence 🙂

How about you? Have you thought of how things that are “allowed” can rob you from what is best? Have you felt at times that your choices led to another’s growth or downturn? What can you do today to make choices that build others up, help you grow closer to God, and keep you entangled from the world? I would love to hear your thoughts!

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