Two men stand beside one another, loudly discussing and debating various points from Talmudic text and commentaries. They passionately analyze, debate, and defend their points of view in order to arrive at a mutual understanding of the text. 

The method of study is called Chavrusa (literally “friendship”), a traditional rabbinic approach to Talmudic study where two students are paired together to discuss and debate texts. While students could certainly learn on their own, according to William Helmreich, the chavrusa relationship is “the best way to ensure preciseness and clarity of thought.”

I love learning about Jewish tradition so it is interesting to me that rabbis have found a variety of relationships are needed in order for students to develop wisdom and gain genuine understanding regarding their faith. 

As Christians, we too need a variety of relationships in order to grow and thrive spiritually. Today I will outline three types of relationships that everyone needs:

1) Mentor/Pastor – everyone needs someone older and wiser than them to provide wisdom, guidance, and skillful teaching in areas where they are not yet experienced or learned. Paul is a great example of this in Scripture. In 1 Corinthians 4:15, he shares “For though you have countless guides in Christ, you do not have many fathers. For I became your father in Christ Jesus through the gospel.” 

A mentor or pastoral relationship is one where we feel nurtured, taught, guided and cared for in a fatherly/motherly way or even as a big brother or big sister. These relationships are crucial to our growth in Christ.

2) Peer/Friend – this is similar to the Chavrusa relationship in Judaism. We all need a friend or two who we can be honest, vulnerable, and transparent with about our own thoughts, struggles, and questions regarding faith.

This person can be likened to a Barnabus in Scripture, whose name means “Son of Encouragement.” This is someone we can pray with regularly and discuss what we are learning in Scripture. This is also someone we know is committed to our spiritual growth and we are committed to theirs. We know we can turn to this person when we face discouragement, confusion, or failure with assurance that we will find encouragement and love from them.

3) Mentee/Disciple – If you have a younger sibling, you probably have been a mentor without even knowing it. Your younger brother or sister may have followed you around and imitated your every word and action. We all need to be willing to come alongside those who are younger in the faith in order to instruct and encourage them. 

Timothy is a great example of this in Scripture as he followed Paul’s example in all things. This is someone who looks up to you and can learn from your own life experiences and wisdom.

While our society today may not organically produce all three of these types of relationships for us, we must seek them out. We tend to live individualistic, segregated lives that may not always send the signal to others that we are looking for these relationships. 

What can you do to pursue all three of these relationships in your life? How have you benefitted from seasons when you did have these? I would love to hear your stories!

Photo Credit: Alden Jewell (Bond Car)