When You are Weary from Loving

My arms are full. Not of laundry or piles of dirty dishes, but of covenant kindness – my little Chesed Joy.

My fourteen-month-old beauty is in a stage where apart from doing her little waddle-walk across the room, the only place she wants to be is Mommy’s arms. Her arms reach out – she doesn’t speak and yet her whole being cries “hold me!”
I am weary and she is growing – 20 something pounds of compact love, eager to be scooped up and cuddled and carried and kissed. And I feel unable as I look at her to do it again for the 157th time today. Every square inch of my body hurts and it seems I can’t keep on picking this child up.
But I do.
And I hold her close – and she wraps her chubby arms around my shoulders, burrowing her head full of soft hair into my neck, laughing in delight at my embrace.
In the moment, that moment, one of 157 moments, I feel no pain. I only feel her and her love and my love all meeting into one beautiful hug.
Can you, do you, ever get weary from loving? It is possible to feel unable to love, to be weary of bearing burdens of others and laboring in service of others, this is true. But there is something about loving that, when we step out and do it regardless of whether we think we can or not, fills us in return.
I pick her up, thinking she will empty me of strength.
She ends up filling me with love and the joy which is my strength.
Perhaps Christ commanded us only one thing – to love – because He knew that in giving love we would receive love and therefore be strengthened and fulfilled to the utmost.
We named her love and joy and as I give she fills me and I fill her and we give and we receive at the same time. And I better understand His words and what He meant when He said, “These things I have spoken to you, that my joy may be in you, and that your joy may be full. This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you” (John 15:11-12, ESV).
Joy wants to remain with me all day long. Why would I push her away?
Has loving God or loving someone become hard or wearisome to you? Have you grown weary of loving? Dear friend, the source of your strength lies in the giving of it, the source of your life begins to flow when you lay it down. Make the choice today to give love, even if you feel you have nothing. You are promised that, in return, you will receive more than you even need.
I am not Superwoman. My arms will still grow weary and I have been created to need rest. And yet, “The eternal God is your refuge, and underneath are the everlasting arms” (Deuteronomy 33:27). I thank God that when I cry, reaching out my arms to be held for the 157th time today, He doesn’t sigh and doesn’t flinch. He takes me and holds me strong. He is always ready and eager to hold me and to hold you – with sufficient strength to carry and sustain each of His beloved children forever.
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