When You Feel Like God is Distant

Running away from home. Image from goodbuddies inc.

I think at some point in their upbringing, many children consider, threaten, or execute running away from home. Usually, the cause for this has to do with a fight they had with one or both of their parents or the parent has disciplined the child or infringed on his or her freedoms or rights (or so they see it). The causes really could be endless.

When this happens at a young age, like four or five, it is almost humorous or cute. If you grew up when I did, you may remember the Nestle Toll House commercial of the little boy who packed his bag and was getting ready to “leave” his house. Then, of course, he smells homemade chocolate chip cookies being baked in the kitchen and, of course, drops his bag and heads for Mom 🙂

For me, it hit when I was a teenager and, well, it wasn’t as cute as the Toll House kid. There was a bit more of a harsh reality involved. I think I “ran away” multiple times but never got very far. This was usually preceded by one of the notorious “slammed doors” and some sort of pithy ultimatum directed towards my parents. I don’t remember them ever following me outside, pleading for my return. They probably knew that I just needed time to cool off and would return when I did. Once I stayed at a friend’s house for the day and another time I just drove for a few hours until I found myself turning around to come back. Either way, no matter how bad our argument had been or how frustrated I was, there was always that moment when I came to my senses and headed home, most of the time ready to apologize.

There’s a story in Scripture that talks about a boy – a young man – likely a teenager – who ran away. He not only left, but took all of his share of his father’s inheritance with him (which was just like telling his father “I wish you were dead!”) He lived it up for awhile (I think in a modern version, credit cards would have been involved) until one day, eventually his luck and his money ran out.

He found himself at the end of his rope, at the bottom of a pit, which he had dug himself. He got a job feeding carob pods to pigs and heard his own stomach growl…how he longed for what those pigs were eating!

Then he woke up.

Hunger, it seems, whether physical or spiritual, has a way of bringing a person to their senses.

He sat up. “What am I doing?! My father’s servants have food to spare!” So he headed for home, mentally drafting his speech of humble repentance along the way. He wouldn’t ask to be a son again – no, he wasn’t worthy of that honor. He would simply ask to be a servant in his father’s house. Then he would at least survive.

And now, the kicker. The words I can’t seem to get out of my mind lately. The words that make all the difference:

 “…But when he was still a great way off, his father saw him and had compassion, and ran and fell on his neck and kissed him.” – Luke 15:20

Then the son made his confession. As my pastor, Stuart McAlpine has noted, “The kiss always precedes the confession.” After his confession, the father doesn’t answer the son a word. Instead, he gives orders to his servants to get a robe, a ring, and sandals for his son and to slaughter the fattened calf and prepare for a party. He said, “My son was dead and is alive again, he was lost and is found.” (verse 24)

Perhaps, like me, you know what it’s like to run away from home. Perhaps you have been in dark places and shook with fear, wondering if you would survive the night.

Perhaps your departure wasn’t physical, but emotional. Maybe you’ve been estranged from a vital relationship. There was an argument, a divide, and now you think, “It’s too late. I can’t come back now.”

Or worst of all, perhaps your departure was of a spiritual nature. Maybe you have known Christ, tasted His goodness, used to rejoice in His embrace, but somewhere at some point, things changed. Maybe something horrible happened like the death of a loved one or close friend, a divorce, or a bankruptcy. Perhaps you have been disillusioned or you feel that God has let you down or left you to fend for yourself. It could have been anything, really. But what matters is this:

If you find yourself miserable, lonely, with a hungry-like ache in your heart, it’s time to wake up. It’s time to come to your senses.

It doesn’t matter what or how much you have squandered. You may have squandered time, money, talents, relationships.

You may have numbed yourself with work, busyness, media, or even ministry to dull the pain in your heart – but it didn’t work because you are still hurting.

I am so happy to share with you that in those moments of my life when I “come to myself” and realize I am in a pit, I don’t have to stay there. Neither do you. There is always a way out.

If you feel that God is distant, if you feel estranged from Him for any reason, you can make a choice today to turn towards the light and away from the darkness. To take the first step on your journey home to your Heavenly Father. To simply and humbly cry out, “Help me!” I believe it really is that simple.

A turning.

A crying out.

A step.

And then He comes – running in full strength, with an embarrassing sort of frenzy about it that shouts of a lovesick heart.

He comes near not to judge but to embrace.

Not to lecture but to celebrate.

Not to collect payment but to wipe out all debts.

He comes with an other-worldly grade of love we can’t even begin to relate to because it is beyond us. But when we experience it, we know that this is the answer to all our desires and it is the remedy for all of our fears and sorrows.

Upon receipt of that love, we are made whole, free, secure, redeemed.

My friend, you may still be a long way off from God today, but He is not far from you. You may think that you must do something right to prove yourself worthy of His love – to make things right. You may want to try to clean yourself up before encountering Him (perhaps He can smell where I’ve been??)

One word: Don’t.

He’ll take you just as you are and will love the mess right out of you. I know. I have been there. Time and time again. He will give you a fresh start and better yet, a new heart.

So, what are you waiting for? Drop your bag. Come in the kitchen. He’s waiting for you.

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Writer/Editor

Laura M. Thomas is writer and editor at This Eternal Moment. A homeschooling mom to three little girls, she loves writing, reading, the great outdoors, and afternoon nap times.

Please note: I reserve the right to delete comments that are offensive or off-topic.

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