“Look beneath the surface so you can judge correctly.” – John 7:24 NLT

“But the Lord said to Samuel, “Do not look at his appearance or at his physical stature, because I have refused him. For the Lord does not see as man sees; for man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.” – 1 Samuel 16:7 NKJV

Yesterday morning, I had an interesting encounter at Panera Bread Company in Bowie, MD. I was investing a couple wonderful hours alone there, reading my Bible and journaling  and, I will admit, people watching a little bit. I secretly love watching people. There was a group of police officers discussing how they might be applying for higher positions within the department. There was a group of older ladies talking about how they couldn’t find time to do various hobbies they wanted to do. There were several people who were, just like me, trying to get some good “alone time” in the midst of a crowded cafe (ironic, isn’t it?). Little did I know with all my people watching that someone was watching me…

When he walked up, I will confess I labeled him in my mind. He was a Panera employee, a young white teenager who couldn’t have been more than 16 years old. He came up to my table, beaming. I couldn’t imagine what we had in common or why he would be approaching my table. “I love Puritan Paperbacks,” he said. I don’t know if I did too well hiding my shock. You see, on my table I had a Puritan Paperback, “The Rare Christian Jewel of Contentment” by Jeremiah Burroughs. I will be the first to admit that it is not light reading. I usually read about 2-3 pages at a time and soak in all the depth of the words I have read over the course of the whole day. It is the first Puritan author’s book that I have attempted to read the whole way through. “Yes,” I said (still in shock), “it is a good book.” He then proceeded to ask me where I went to church and other questions about my faith. He walked away and I shook my head to myself. You see, I had just read a passage in Scripture as he was walking up to me that seemed quite appropriate at the time: “Do not judge by appearances, but judge with righteous judgement” (John 7:24 NKJV). Who says that a young teenage American boy isn’t going to be interested in deep theological works? me, I guess. Guilty as charged!

I walked away from that time at the cafe a bit startled, a bit interrupted in my thoughts. I kept thinking how, based on his appearance alone, I had judged him in what his interests in life may be. I was dead wrong. The boy was oozing with passion for Jesus and it was just wonderful and encouraging, but also a bit convicting. He had said how he loved Puritan paperbacks (plural). That means that he had read more than one, probably several, and he could likely sit down at that table and teach me a thing or two about them. After acknowledging my pride/judgment to God, I couldn’t help but smile. This boy had surprised me, shook me, woken me up from something.

I thought about the people I had judged in the past simply by their appearances –  where they lived, their age, their gender, the color of their skin, their background, voting preference, education or style of dress. I thought about how I have been judged based on these things as well and how sick you can feel inside when you are the one being judged.

That is why Jesus instructed us on these matters in His Word. Because they are very important. We as believers are not to judge people based on their appearances or exterior. We are, however, to judge with righteous judgement. What does that mean exactly? The Message version of this verse makes it a little more evident: “Don’t be nitpickers; use your head—and heart!—to discern what is right, to test what is authentically right.” And, as we see from the verse in Samuel, what we really need to look at is the heart of the matter or the heart of the person. The question to ask is, “What is this person’s heart? What is going on inside of them?” or in a situation, “What is really playing out here? What is the heart of this situation?” This is of utmost importance because Jesus tells us that He, in fact, does not look at outward appearances. He doesn’t see what man sees (how refreshing!). Instead, He looks at one thing – the heart. And so should we.

A good friend of mine, Caroline Jarboe, has this tag line at the end of her emails:

“Be kind. Everyone you meet is fighting a great battle.” I’d love to share a story with you taht illustrates this fact beautifully.

In my first job out of college, I taught at a Montessori school in the Chicago area. My employer, the headmistress of the school, was a 66 year old Holocaust survivor who was also a Messianic Jew. She had been through horrible, unimaginable things in her life (such as watching a Russian soldier rape her own mother while she lay in the bed next to her as a 4 year old girl). Spiritually speaking, she couldn’t seem to fit in anywhere. As a young woman, Jesus had appeared to hear in a vision and spoken to her “I am the Messiah.” She believed Him and began to follow Him but couldn’t bear the Christian teachings on hell because of what it would imply for her people. So she was rejected by the Church and (because of her faith in Jesus) was rejected by many Jews as well. She bore deep wounds from her youth and often acted out of those wounded places – lashing out with verbal threats and attacks, manipulation, and insults. She managed to push everyone she loved away from her. She was divorced, didn’t see her children often, and her only real friend was her dog. She couldn’t keep a teacher at the school for longer than a year at a time because of her bad temper and irrational antics.

I was 23 years old. Every morning I woke up, I had to get on my knees and pray to the Lord to give me grace for her. To let me see her through His eyes. And as I kept praying and refused to leave (it did help that Joel and I really needed the money as he was still in college!), God began to open my eyes and began to show me that in many ways she was still basically a very hurt, very scared four year old girl. This might sound crazy to you, but its what I was dealing with at the time. I began to see her with great compassion. When she yelled at me, I thought about the many times she had likely been yelled at. When she accused me of things I hadn’t done and even threw a phone across the room in a fit of rage, I calmly (though shaking) picked it up and put it back on the wall and sought to calm her down. In spite of all of her issues and wounds, she was amazingly gifted with the children. Perhaps because she had such a difficult childhood, she longed to see the children happy, learning, free, safe. She told me once that she felt more at home, more  herself, when she was around the children. The parents all were in awe at her ability to get their kids to do things they had never been able to do, like tie their own shoes, learn their times tables, or share with others.

When we took two weeks off for Christmas break that year, I was exhausted. I had been sick more than I had ever been in my life due to working with so many little kids and was emotionally spent from dealing with my boss. I wondered what, if any, impact I was having in her life by being there. I got my answer. The day work ended for Christmas break, she gave me a letter. In essence it said, “I have been around a lot of Christians, but none of them really acted like Christ. Your love and patience in the midst of my anger, insults, and rage has shown me the reality of Christ’s love through another…Thank you so much.” I will admit, I wept like a baby when I read this letter and still have it to this day.

There is a deepening and liberation that happens in our own souls when we refuse to look at others with shallow eyes and hardened, bias hearts. We are free to imagine them as God sees them. It all comes back to the Golden Rule I have nailed to my girl’s wall in their bedroom: Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.

You and I don’t want to be wrongly judged or misunderstood. Neither of us want others to think the worst about us or lump us in some stereotype based on our outward appearance. Neither should we do this to others.

Who out there have you wrongly judged in your mind? Who might you owe a word of forgiveness? Who out there do you think is a potential enemy who is actually a potential friend? Break out of the mold and take a step today to see others with fresh eyes – open and full of love. This is what Christ has called us to because it is what He gave His life for – that the hearts of all mankind may know Him.