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Getting God’s Exit Strategy

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Therefore let anyone who thinks that he stands take heed lest he fall. No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it. ~ 1 Corinthians 10:12-14

For the last three weeks, my daughters and I have started our mornings memorizing a verse or two every week. We repeat it every day together and then individually. When they are able to recite it from memory (usually by Friday morning) they are rewarded with a “treat” from a jar of candy I have in our kitchen. I decided to start our Scripture memory with the Lord’s Prayer.

Each week as we recite the verses, new questions come up. “What does hallowed mean?,” Grace asked me the first week. Then this week, our verse is Matthew 6:13, “And do not lead us into temptation, but deliver us from the evil one….” “What is temptation?” Grace asked. I would like to say I immediately began to pontificate from memory what exactly temptation means, but alas, my brain was mushy that morning and so I googled “tempt” in dictionary.com to ensure a proper answer. To tempt means, “to entice someone to do wrong, especially by a promise of reward.”

We then began to discuss how Grace and Chesed will “tempt” each other at different times (more often it is Grace getting Chesed to do something she knows is wrong, something I have told them not to do, hoping that Chesed will be punished instead). We talked about how as sisters, they  should help each other obey God (and Mommy and Daddy), not tempt each other to disobey. This was very easy for Grace to understand. Now, to put into practice will certainly be more difficult, but the first step is simply to have an awareness of when we are tempted.

As adults, we may recognize we are being tempted to do something we know is wrong, but feel powerless at times to choose what is right. Perhaps it is a bad habit that we have given in to so many times, we feel frustrated and defeated before we even choose right or wrong. Perhaps our emotions such as anger or fear seek to hold us captive, enticing us toward poor thoughts and choices.

I want to encourage you today with the Scripture I have placed at the top of this post. No temptation has seized you that is uncommon to man. That is pretty comforting, I think. My temptations are not some “special case” unique to others temptations. That means that we as Christians can encourage one another when we are tempted to make the right choice. We can help others recognize when they are being tempted to sin because we ourselves have likely been subjected to the same or similar temptations.

Which brings us to the second part of the verse: “God is faithful.” isn’t it encouraging to know that God is always faithful?  Paul is drawing us to this aspect of God’s character (God’s faithfulness) because he wants us to highlight how God is faithful specifically  in the midst of our temptations. How, you may ask, is He faithful? Well, firstly, He won’t let us be tempted beyond our ability, which is comforting. He’s not going to allow my two year old to face the same temptations He allows me to face, for example. And secondly, He is faithful to  provide us a way of escape. The word “escape” in this passage in the Greek means, “exit, egress, way out.”

When I am tempted I want to pause long enough to look for God’s bright red “EXIT” sign – how might He be providing a way out of this tempting situation for me? Will I take it? Often, if I make a poor choice it is because I do not look for His divine “escape strategy.”

Today I was tempted to be angry with someone that treated me and my children unfairly. I came home from this encounter, venting to my husband about how this man had behaved and how wrong it was. I was tempted to stew in my anger rather than lovingly confront this individual. Graciously, my husband directed me to a “way of escape” for my anger. He encouraged me to call this man and explain how his actions had impacted me and the kids.  When I called and shared with him how his actions made me feel, he was very remorseful and apologized. He even thanked me for calling and letting him know and assured me that this wouldn’t happen again. I hung up from that call feeling good – good that I had talked directly to the individual who had hurt me (which was the way of escape, in my situation) rather than harbor a grudge against him and stew in my “justified anger” for being treated unfairly. I also felt peace flood my heart where unrest and anxiety had been only moments prior.

How have you been tempted lately, my friend? Have you seen the way of escape to that situation that God has provided for you? If you can’t seem to see the way out, get into God’s Word and seek Him for a strategy. Perhaps ask a friend whom you trust for some wise counsel and pray to God for eyes to see that “EXIT” sign. Let’s give thanks for our faithful God who is actively involved in every detail of our lives, providing us with direction at every moment to do what is right in His sight by the power of His Holy Spirit.

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Judging by Appearances ~ Part Two

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“Look beneath the surface so you can judge correctly” – John 7:25 NLT

“We are His workmanship” – Ephesians 2:10 NKJV

The first blog post I wrote about judging by appearances had to do with how we view others based on their appearance, race, gender, background, economic status, etc. This time I would like to focus on how we can falsely judge ourselves by our appearances. The first definition of “appearance” the Merriam-Websters dictionary is “an external show.”

We may think that we “have it all together,” because we have a good job, a wonderful spouse, great kids, lots of money, or simply because our lives are going the way that we want them to go – the direction and plan that we have always wanted. We may equate outward or material success with God’s favor. We may think that we are “good with God” because we have the approval of others or because we do good things for other people. However, our inner spiritual lives may be crumbling. We may also have the wrong idea about other people we encounter. “Wow, they always look perfect and their kids always seem to behave,” we may think. However, their marriage could be on the rocks or they could be suffering from depression.

You just can’t judge a book by its cover, can you?

On the other side, we may fall into deception about ourselves in a different way. Perhaps you love God and seek to serve others humbly with your life, but in spite of what you know God says about you in His Word, you are never happy with yourself – in fact, you may very well loathe yourself if you fail to meet your own standards or other’s standards whom you want to please.  Perhaps this bothers you more than you would like to admit and you realize that you value what others think of you more than what God thinks of you.

This is an area I must personally revisit often – because I must confess that far too many times I have judged myself not through God’s eyes but through my own harsh and critical eyes. Our human tendency is to look at ourselves wrongly – to either puff ourselves up with praise and pride or condemn ourselves with critical words, reducing our worth to rubble.

But God. God brings us into balance when we will look to Him to define our worth. Yes, we are sinners. Yes, we fail and fall daily. But God has made us new creations, and daily we have the opportunity to believe that His Holy Spirit can and is renewing us from the inside out. We can stand up again. We can confess our sins and find healing. We can humble ourselves and ask God for help. And we can look at ourselves through God’s eyes – the eyes that lift us from the ash heaps of our unworthiness, calling us to ‘sit with Him in heavenly places’. The eyes that humble us and call us lower, to find greatness in serving and loving, rather than in the praise of men or the successes of this life.

How about you, friend? Do you think you’re okay spiritually because you are enjoying outward blessings such as a good job, financial success, or a happy family?  Do you judge yourself too harshly, setting standards for yourself that you can never meet? Do you hunger for praise from God or man?  Where does your worth and estimation of yourself come from? Take a few moments today to ask The Lord how He views you – and pray for the grace to see yourself in the light of His face alone.

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Judging by Appearances – Part One

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“Look beneath the surface so you can judge correctly.” – John 7:24 NLT

“But the Lord said to Samuel, “Do not look at his appearance or at his physical stature, because I have refused him. For the Lord does not see as man sees; for man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.” – 1 Samuel 16:7 NKJV

Yesterday morning, I had an interesting encounter at Panera Bread Company in Bowie, MD. I was investing a couple wonderful hours alone there, reading my Bible and journaling  and, I will admit, people watching a little bit. I secretly love watching people. There was a group of police officers discussing how they might be applying for higher positions within the department. There was a group of older ladies talking about how they couldn’t find time to do various hobbies they wanted to do. There were several people who were, just like me, trying to get some good “alone time” in the midst of a crowded cafe (ironic, isn’t it?). Little did I know with all my people watching that someone was watching me…

When he walked up, I will confess I labeled him in my mind. He was a Panera employee, a young white teenager who couldn’t have been more than 16 years old. He came up to my table, beaming. I couldn’t imagine what we had in common or why he would be approaching my table. “I love Puritan Paperbacks,” he said. I don’t know if I did too well hiding my shock. You see, on my table I had a Puritan Paperback, “The Rare Christian Jewel of Contentment” by Jeremiah Burroughs. I will be the first to admit that it is not light reading. I usually read about 2-3 pages at a time and soak in all the depth of the words I have read over the course of the whole day. It is the first Puritan author’s book that I have attempted to read the whole way through. “Yes,” I said (still in shock), “it is a good book.” He then proceeded to ask me where I went to church and other questions about my faith. He walked away and I shook my head to myself. You see, I had just read a passage in Scripture as he was walking up to me that seemed quite appropriate at the time: “Do not judge by appearances, but judge with righteous judgement” (John 7:24 NKJV). Who says that a young teenage American boy isn’t going to be interested in deep theological works? me, I guess. Guilty as charged!

I walked away from that time at the cafe a bit startled, a bit interrupted in my thoughts. I kept thinking how, based on his appearance alone, I had judged him in what his interests in life may be. I was dead wrong. The boy was oozing with passion for Jesus and it was just wonderful and encouraging, but also a bit convicting. He had said how he loved Puritan paperbacks (plural). That means that he had read more than one, probably several, and he could likely sit down at that table and teach me a thing or two about them. After acknowledging my pride/judgment to God, I couldn’t help but smile. This boy had surprised me, shook me, woken me up from something.

I thought about the people I had judged in the past simply by their appearances –  where they lived, their age, their gender, the color of their skin, their background, voting preference, education or style of dress. I thought about how I have been judged based on these things as well and how sick you can feel inside when you are the one being judged.

That is why Jesus instructed us on these matters in His Word. Because they are very important. We as believers are not to judge people based on their appearances or exterior. We are, however, to judge with righteous judgement. What does that mean exactly? The Message version of this verse makes it a little more evident: “Don’t be nitpickers; use your head—and heart!—to discern what is right, to test what is authentically right.” And, as we see from the verse in Samuel, what we really need to look at is the heart of the matter or the heart of the person. The question to ask is, “What is this person’s heart? What is going on inside of them?” or in a situation, “What is really playing out here? What is the heart of this situation?” This is of utmost importance because Jesus tells us that He, in fact, does not look at outward appearances. He doesn’t see what man sees (how refreshing!). Instead, He looks at one thing – the heart. And so should we.

A good friend of mine, Caroline Jarboe, has this tag line at the end of her emails:

“Be kind. Everyone you meet is fighting a great battle.” I’d love to share a story with you taht illustrates this fact beautifully.

In my first job out of college, I taught at a Montessori school in the Chicago area. My employer, the headmistress of the school, was a 66 year old Holocaust survivor who was also a Messianic Jew. She had been through horrible, unimaginable things in her life (such as watching a Russian soldier rape her own mother while she lay in the bed next to her as a 4 year old girl). Spiritually speaking, she couldn’t seem to fit in anywhere. As a young woman, Jesus had appeared to hear in a vision and spoken to her “I am the Messiah.” She believed Him and began to follow Him but couldn’t bear the Christian teachings on hell because of what it would imply for her people. So she was rejected by the Church and (because of her faith in Jesus) was rejected by many Jews as well. She bore deep wounds from her youth and often acted out of those wounded places – lashing out with verbal threats and attacks, manipulation, and insults. She managed to push everyone she loved away from her. She was divorced, didn’t see her children often, and her only real friend was her dog. She couldn’t keep a teacher at the school for longer than a year at a time because of her bad temper and irrational antics.

I was 23 years old. Every morning I woke up, I had to get on my knees and pray to the Lord to give me grace for her. To let me see her through His eyes. And as I kept praying and refused to leave (it did help that Joel and I really needed the money as he was still in college!), God began to open my eyes and began to show me that in many ways she was still basically a very hurt, very scared four year old girl. This might sound crazy to you, but its what I was dealing with at the time. I began to see her with great compassion. When she yelled at me, I thought about the many times she had likely been yelled at. When she accused me of things I hadn’t done and even threw a phone across the room in a fit of rage, I calmly (though shaking) picked it up and put it back on the wall and sought to calm her down. In spite of all of her issues and wounds, she was amazingly gifted with the children. Perhaps because she had such a difficult childhood, she longed to see the children happy, learning, free, safe. She told me once that she felt more at home, more  herself, when she was around the children. The parents all were in awe at her ability to get their kids to do things they had never been able to do, like tie their own shoes, learn their times tables, or share with others.

When we took two weeks off for Christmas break that year, I was exhausted. I had been sick more than I had ever been in my life due to working with so many little kids and was emotionally spent from dealing with my boss. I wondered what, if any, impact I was having in her life by being there. I got my answer. The day work ended for Christmas break, she gave me a letter. In essence it said, “I have been around a lot of Christians, but none of them really acted like Christ. Your love and patience in the midst of my anger, insults, and rage has shown me the reality of Christ’s love through another…Thank you so much.” I will admit, I wept like a baby when I read this letter and still have it to this day.

There is a deepening and liberation that happens in our own souls when we refuse to look at others with shallow eyes and hardened, bias hearts. We are free to imagine them as God sees them. It all comes back to the Golden Rule I have nailed to my girl’s wall in their bedroom: Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.

You and I don’t want to be wrongly judged or misunderstood. Neither of us want others to think the worst about us or lump us in some stereotype based on our outward appearance. Neither should we do this to others.

Who out there have you wrongly judged in your mind? Who might you owe a word of forgiveness? Who out there do you think is a potential enemy who is actually a potential friend? Break out of the mold and take a step today to see others with fresh eyes – open and full of love. This is what Christ has called us to because it is what He gave His life for – that the hearts of all mankind may know Him.

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